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S’pore kidney donor save man’s life but sleeps with his wife

JOHN, whose kidneys were failing, thought his life would change when a donor stepped forward.

It did change – but in more ways than John (not his real name) expected.

He discovered that the donor was his wife’s secret lover. He was shattered.

Then, another shock: He learnt he wasn’t the biological father of his young child. The same man who gave him a new lease on life was also the biological father of his kid.

Still he decided to save the marriage.

Then, the final straw: A private investigator told him his wife had broken her promise to keep away from her lover.

The couple are now separated and the child is with his wife at her sister’s home.

This is the story of how one man’s life went from despair to hope to turmoil within two months, with a soured business deal and two failed marriages thrown in.

The three adults involved cannot be identified because divorce proceedings are on and a child is involved. We shall call John’s wife Jill, and the donor Peter.

Their bizarre affair became public when Peter, whose own marriage is now in trouble, made a police report in January last year, alleging that he had been assaulted.

John, a businessman in his 40s, had suffered from kidney problems for about seven years. He was on medication and dialysis for about nine months in 2007.

Just when his health situation turned bleak, John claimed his wife told him her “brother” Peter was prepared to donate his kidney. John was relieved. And grateful.

But he found something odd. Why did Jill keep changing her story about Peter?

Peter went from being a “brother” to a “good friend”, said John.

But Jill, when contacted, insisted that she had all along referred to Peter as her childhood friend.

Peter, who is in his 30s, said: “I agreed to the (kidney) donation because both our (John’s and Peter’s) ancestors came from the same village overseas. I also didn’t want to see (John) and his wife suffer.”

Willing to help

Jill said: “(Peter) was willing to help, so I introduced them.”

Just before the operation, John offered to help Peter setup a business, in June 2008. An Accounting and Corporate Regulatory Authority search showed a company was set up that month and Jill is its director.

John said his wife had insisted that she be included as a director.

But Jill denied this. “It was my husband who insisted that I become a director and we spent $25,000 from our joint account. It was not just his (John’s) money.”

John, however, claimed he had invested $100,000 himself.

The business is supplied by another company run by John.

The kidney transplant was done in a private hospital in late July or early August 2008.

The New Paper on Sunday verified this with the hospital bills.

About two months after the transplant, John said, he found out that his wife had had sex with Peter two years earlier, in 2006.

He would not elaborate on how he found out, saying only that he found out through his wife’s sister. He and Jill had then been married for 12 years.

“I didn’t believe it at first,” John told The New Paper on Sunday.

“My wife had given me a child, and (Peter) had given me something few men would want to give (his kidney).”

Suspected wife

But he began suspecting his wife was having an affair. And that led him to wonder about whether his child was really his. He wanted Jill to take a DNA test.

She refused initially.

But she surprised him later by producing the lab results in court in late 2008.

The biological father was indeed his kidney donor, Peter.

All three parties confirmed the lab tests but refused to let The New Paper on Sunday take a look at the result.

John claimed he was initially willing to accept the child as his, but decided against it because he felt “having two fathers” would complicate the kid’s life.

He said: “My first focus is the child. The child should know who the real father is. So I stepped back.”

A relative of John’s also claimed that John first tried to make the marriage work for the sake of the child.

But when a private investigator told John his wife was still seeing Peter, he decided to “call it quits”.

Jill and Peter claimed they were just friends, and had sex only once when both were drunk.

Jill admitted the incident, but accused John of being an absentee husband.

She said she did try to salvage her marriage to John, but it did not work.

Peter claimed he learnt he was the child’s father only last year, and he was shocked. He said he does not consider what happened between Jill and him as an affair.

But the revelation hurt his own marriage. Peter said he is now in the midst of a divorce.

Checks by The New Paper on Sunday revealed that Peter was married more than a decade ago.

In January last year, Peter claimed there was a confrontation between him and John.

He made a police report alleging that John came with his brother and friends, because of a dispute with Jill.

She was not present then.

John then allegedly told Peter to wind up his business and, when Peter refused, tried to hit Peter’s head with a swivel chair.

In the report, Peter claimed he blocked the attack with his left forearm, and John’s brother and friends held John back.

Peter said he suffered abrasions, bruises and swelling, which he claimed took a month to heal.

Different version

But John has a different version of what happened that day.

He said he went to Peter’s workplace to collect overdue payments for goods supplied by his other company.

John said he was also concerned about how their joint venture was being run. He said he left when Peter ignored his advice.

“I have never attacked (Peter),” said John, “or caused him physical harm.”

Peter made another police report the same month claiming that John threatened him on the phone, saying he would “finish him off”. John denied this too.

The police confirmed that the reports were lodged, and said the two men were advised on their legal recourse.

Earlier this week, John was back in hospital because of an infection, which he claimed was partly due to the stress arising from the conflicts with his wife and Peter.

John has engaged a lawyer to handle his business dispute with Peter.

Has he given up all hope of reconciling with his wife?
“I’m not sure,” he said. “Right now, I can’t trust anybody.

“If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be… If the child is going to be with them, I wish them (all) the best.”

Jill has moved out with her child and is living with her sister. Peter visits them every week. She said she just wants a clean and amicable divorce.

Does Peter regret donating his kidney to John after all the conflict, allegations and disputes?

He said: “If you ask me to do it all over again, I would. The feeling of saving someone else’s life is really terrific.”

Source: Asia One

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